Monday 2 September 2013

50 Prettiest Porn Stars of All Time

Sample Movie: Fluffy Cumsalot, Porn Star
Career: 1993-2007
Arguably the Jigga of porn (complete with vast media empire and gradual fall-off), Jenna branded her dazzling looks (pre-surgery) into a one-woman industry complete with a billboard in Times Square. In Hov's parlance, she clearly knows how to ride nice dick and her head is priceless. In her absolute prime, she'd probably be way higher on this list, but all those Botox and lip injections have blurred her glory days. For shame.




Sample Movie: Adventures of Misty McKain
Career: 1991-1992
Like many a blazini black chick, this English lingerie model was romantically tied to Robert DeNiro during the '90s. And we can imagine her trotting along Arthur Ave. in the Bronx setting off race riots. Lillo Brancato, Jr., hold your head!


Sample Movie: Butthole Reamers
Career: 2002-present
Of French/Vietnamese blood, "Katsumi" was forced to change her name to "Katsuni" after a lawsuit by a woman who had the same last name. It would kind of suck (pun intended) if every Google search of your moniker yielded a bunch of hardcore sex flicks. Especially if it wasn't you.


Sample Movie: White Men Can't Hump
Career: 1991-1996
Since this petite Pennsylvanian retired from porn, she's found work doing voice-overs for hentai animation. We've always assumed that no one actually enjoys this genre of pornography (another example: "mature" material with wrinkly old people), but there's some benevolent billionaire who keeps funding the industry just to reassure the rest of us that our sexual predilections aren't that weird.


Sample Movie: Chop Shop Chicas
Career: 2003-2008
It's fair to say you've made it big when adoring fans buy plastic molds of your vagina (as one can of this Mexicana fantastica). We use the Joan Rivers edition as an office ashtray.



Sample Movie: Chloe's Big Tit Conquests
Career: 1996-1999
This Italian brunette from Connecticut is hot and all, but we really appreciated that her name hearkens back to the era of Christy Canyon, Wendy Whoppers, and other aliases that could only be either a kind of candy or someone who fucked on tape for a living.


Sample Movie: Honky Tonk Angels
Career: 1973-2003
Once considered for a role in the film Body Double (um, sounds like a hell of a casting couch scam to us), this wavy-haired brunette is a member of the AVN Hall of Fame for her work during the '70s and '80s. Born a Mormon, she would be the best argument for monogamy--well, if it weren't for those girl-on-girl scenes.


Sample Movie: Phat Azz Girlz
Career: 2004-present
Porn shamelessly appeals to ethnic stereotyping, and this black and Latina Cali chick gets the, um, "best" of both worlds. Not only did she star in Latina Anal Heartbreakers, she also was featured in Black Ass Candy. We're post-racial, Barack! We did it!


Sample Movie: The Good, The Bad and The Snuggly
Career: 1989-1996
With a mane of golden ringlets, this smoldering Dutch star from the early '90s was a proper surrogate for Kelly Bundy and all those other leggy blondes we grew up coveting. But more importantly, we respect that her last name denotes where she's from--and our cellphone contacts are assembled the same way: Charlotte Avenue, Jaya Santos Party House, Gretchen Pep Boys.


Sample Movie: Licensed to Blow 4
Career: 2007-2008
Formerly known as Jenna Z, Catalina changed her name in homage to quasi-doppelganger Penelope Cruz. Luckily, you can tell them apart because one has 32DDs and the other is screwing Javier Bardem.


Sample Movie: Lust Will and Testament
Career: 2000-2008
A girl named "Tawny" sounds like someone who would open a Miller High Life bottle with her teeth before hitting you off with Motley Crue-esque tour-bus sex. While you apply an aloe poultice to your jaggedly scratched back, she'd play around with a ball of yarn and drink warm milk from a dish on the floor.


Sample Movie: Amish Daughters
Career: 1999-2008
Holy shit! This girl is perfect: She likes comic books (her name was taken from the X-Men), she digs rap (she appeared in 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P." video), and loves football (her website include NFL predictions). Also, she's a porn star. Well, "former," anyway.


Sample Movie: Hoboken Rose
Career: 1997-1998
Considering how the careers of Naughty by Nature, Rottin Razkals, and the Lords of the Underground dwindled during the tail end of the '90s, this Spanish/Greek specimen with a pair of 36Ds might be the last hot thing to come out of Newark.


Sample Movie: Guess Who Came At Dinner?
Career: 1985-1991
Also known as "Sugar Brown," this Michigan native was one of the first black porn stars. She may not be as pioneering as George Washington Carver, but we'd prefer getting a nut from her.


Sample Movie: Chicks and Salsa
Career: 2004-present
Since porn globalization struck, Brazilians have enjoyed a favorable rate of exchange. And with a great smile, dainty 36Bs, and glowing skin, Paola shows why business is booming in Dirty South America.


Sample Movie: Little Lupe 1
Career: 2005-present
"Little" Lupe wasted no time getting her porn career started, appearing in her first video at 18. When this 4'11" Spanish sex kitten isn't answering our burning questions (or defiling soccer shirts), she dates Tera Patrick's ex, Evan Seinfeld. Is switching from one porn-star GF to another considered awkward?


Sample Movie: Big Toys No Boys 4
Career: 2003-2008
National Lampoon's cachet may have tumbled since Clark Griswald was skinny-dipping in motel pools, but this Czech brunette was featured on the cover of 2007's direct-to-video flick Spring Break. That's the kind of factoid you can proudly tell your parents when you bring her to dinner in your ridiculous, imaginary world of candy-cane trees and flying carpets.



Sample Movie: Interview with a Vibrator
Career: 1993-2008
Floridian by birth, Chasey once shot a film called The Original Wicked Woman that documented the before/after impact of getting a boob job. And all this time we've been fapping to Weight Watchers ads for that same metamorphic effect.


Sample Movie: Wet Juicy Juggs 2
Career: 2007-present
Honestly, Priya doesn't seem like the best lay in the universe (unless it's a hate-fuck, since she's kind of snotty), but we have to root for a woman who started doing hardcore at age 30. Top Brahmin!


Sample Movie: Sperm Banks 6
Career: 2003-present
The obvious benefit of hooking up with a tiny 90-pound female like this Thai-Cambodian Californian is that it makes your junk look more impressive. Accordingly, you should form a human shield with your goons when your homie tries to leave the bar with a Prussian WNBA power forward.


Sample Movie: Bang My Juice Boxx: Latina Squeeze
Career: 2005-present
Straight outta Basque Country, this voracious chorizo-swallower chose the name Rebecca because it's "short and very strong"--an accurate nombre for someone a shade over 5-feet in height. Also, when you're in Spain and you call you girlfriend back in the States, remember that "tapas bar" sounds exactly like "topless bar" over Skype.


Sample Movie: Big Dicks Little Asians 2
Career: 2006-present
With sophisticated looks and a dazzling smile, this UC-San Diego alum brands herself as "The Asian Girl Next Door." There's likely an army of dudes roaming her native Hunan Province wondering exactly where that frigging neighborhood might be


Sample Movie: The Fantastic Whores
Career: 2005-present
Last November, Details ran an article about "The Rise of the Hot Jewish Girl" and we greeted it with bemused ambivalence. But this Israeli/Slovak hottie (and her gravity-defying behind) has so reawakened our loins to the beauty of the tribe that we're deleting all evidence of shiksas from our hard drives and plastering our cubicles with mugshots of Ethel Rosenberg.


Sample Movie: Bubble Butt Cuties
Career: 2007-present
When this San Diego native visited our offices for a pictorial x interview, we found her outgoing personality almost as bubbly as her perfect bookshelf rump. White girls with ass, yeah? Like Depeche Mode said: We just can't get enough.


Taylor Hayes

Sample Movie: Prettiest Tits I Ever Came Across
Career: 1995-2006
If you're going to borrow a name from a television show for your nom de poon--as Taylor did from a character on The Bold and the Beautiful"--make sure it has the right connotations. It's unsettling to be mid-jerk and suddenly imagine Steinbrenner yelling "COSTANZA!"


Sample Movie: Licking Pussy 12 Ways
Career: 2001-2008
After spending years making adult films, this Jacksonville product became "born again" a few years back and furiously attempted to get her likeness removed from porn sites on the web. This isn't just like crying over spilt milk, it's akin to trying to insert it back in the cow.


Sample Movie: My First Sex Teacher 14
Career: 2007-present
Back when porn-star-slash-tattoo-artist Adrenalynn (a.k.a. Adrianna Lynn) was modeling for JC Penney, nobody knew that she would eventually have "Jarrod's Little Fuck Doll" tatted around her asshole. Wait, isn't that the droopy-skinned dude from the Subway commercials?


Sample Movie: Desperate Housewhores: More Than a MILF
Career: 2002-present
Alaska has a checkered past of introducing talent to the lower 48: Sarah Palin defines the word "doofus," Carlos Boozer is a bacne-speckled Duke goon, and their salmon--OK, the salmon is delicious. Similarly tasty is this raven-haired, 34DD-crested snow bunny.


Sample Movie: Lady Scarface
Career: 2001-2008
This angelic Puerto Rock was born in Brooklyn and discovered while stripping in Miami. It sounds like the plot to a fictional Fat Joe song about a little Latina lost, but it's really just a big win for us.


Sample Movie: China Vagina
Career: 1999-2007
If a mad scientist came up with a chemical compound for attractiveness using only ethnic stereotypes--and you don't even want to know what that wild-haired freak did with those beakers--he'd probably use the Vietnamese and Norwegian bloodlines. This is why it's so baffling that Kira Kener is a total troll. Just kidding! You did good, horny Dr. Yacub, you did real good!


Sample Movie: Hell's Angels 2: The Seven Sexy Sins
Career: 1995-2001
We're not sure whether to attribute it to the plethora of femme fatales in Cold War spy flicks or its proximity to Transylvania, but there's something about Eastern European girls that infuses their modelesque hotness with simmering malevolence. But, Mr. Gorbachev, we will tear down her walls.


Sample Movie: I Wanna Get Face Fucked 4
Career: 2006-present
Despite weighing under 100 pounds, this slender Sacramento-bred Latina is a heavy hitter--she won a 2009 AVN award for the "Best All-Girl Couples Sex Scene." We don't even really know what that means exactly, but we're excited about it.


Sample Movie: Ass-Fucking Young Girls
Career: 2004-present
Texan Teagan started stripping and filming porn to get revenge on an ex-boyfriend. What's the male equivalent--breaking up and becoming a "good listener"? Fantasize on, ladies!


Sample Movie: Meow!
Career: 2005-present
Formerly known as Natalia Cruz, this buxom German-Romanian-Cherokee vixen is a bisexual star who is a former Complex columnist. Was that a hint to any starlets who want to appear in Complex? Uh, maybe.


Sample Movie: Oral Adventures Of Craven Moorehead 8
Career: 2001-present
This Cali girl with an olive complexion and Irish, German, and Spanish heritage took the second part of her pseudonym from Jimi Hendrix's classic song "Purple Haze." Here's where we say something about a "Foxy Lady" being a "Little Miss Lover" and ask "Are You Experienced?"


Sample Movie: Hardworking Heroines Tied, Gagged and Helpless
Career: 1999-present
This raven-haired Californian with a pair of 36Fs (honestly, we have trouble wrapping our mind around those dimensions without resorting to fleshy volume = mass/density calculations) just started shooting hardcore scenes last summer. Christmas in July is such a cliche, but it's a celebration, bitches.


Sample Movie: Pirate Fetish Machine 19: Enjoy the Abyss
Career: 2002-2009
Most people last heard of Slovakia when Eli Roth set his horror flick Hostel in the landlocked Central European nation. With dark hair and refined features, this Bratislava native could convince many a man to withstand the severing of a few fingers by a chainsaw.


Sample Movie: Aria Giovanni's Stocking Tease
Career: 2000-2009
Here's a recipe for a wonderful porn career: a racial goulash of Italian, Yugoslavian, French, and Native American ancestry; a pair of 34DD breasts; and a stint in drug rehab as a 12-year-old. Use this knowledge wisely.


Sample Movie: Lascivious Liaisons
Career: 2006-present
This Cuban mami proves that just because a girl has a Celtic tribal tramp-stamp on her lower back, it doesn't mean she's a slut. Wait a second...


Sample Movie: Chocolate Chicks on Cracker Dicks
Career: 2008-present
After seeing so many adult stars with balloon-like fake breasts that have enough gravitational pull to affect the tides, it's refreshing to find a pair of perfectly-sculpted fist-sized tetas like the ones on this Vegas native. This is the best way to watch porn while feeling like a humanitarian.


Sample Movie: Bring Me the Head of Shawna Lenee
Career: 2007-present
Reaganomics would have been less controversial if the policy focused on a chick from Vegas with flowing auburn hair, a penchant for girl-on-girl action, and some awesome American Apparel billboards.


Sample Movie: Sodomania: Slop Shots 10
Career: 1998-present
This pint-sized Pinoy had a cameo in the film Black Dynamite and starred in a video with Baby Bash (he's either a one-hit wonder rapper or an infant from The Flintstones, we can't really call itl).


Sample Movie: The Other Side of Sunny
Career: 2005-present
This nipple-ringed Canadian export was pretty much the only redeeming thing in Ja Rule's "Livin' It Up" video. Let's play hide in Sikh!


Sample Movie: Black Cheerleader Gangbang 7
Career: 2000-2009
With almond eyes, stunning features, and a heavenly figure, Lacey was the divine inspiration for Charles Hamilton's song "Lacey Duvalle." No word on if she punched him in the face at any point.


Sample Movie: Young Harlots: School Trip
Career: 2009-present
A mix of Peruvian, Israeli, and Scottish sounds like a violently fantastic cocktail, and Isis doesn't disappoint. She's kind of a hipster-hop porn star: There's the mandatory star tattoo (on left pelvic bone) along with enough ass to get love from any block.


Sample Movie: So You Think You Can Squirt
Career: 2006-present
Known for delicate features, a raunchy mouth, and a willingness to do almost anything, Sasha is the indie darling of the adult-film world: She took her name from an Oscar Wilde book (The Portrait of Dorian Gray) and starred in Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience. Oddly, we've never experienced a girlfriend with such proclivity for being tied up and face-fucked.


Sample Movie: WKRP in Cincinnati: A XXX Parody
Career: 2006-present
This Oklahoman beauty is a dime by pretty much any standard that we can think of. When immigrants dream of our great nation, they fantasize about all-American beauties like Ashlynn. USA!!!


Sample Movie: Stoya: Sexy Hot
Career: 2007-present
This dark-haired vixen from North Cackalack made her mark as an "alt" porn star: that is, she likes being tied up on some S&M shit and has multiple piercings. People like this are scary.


Sample Movie: Asian Street Hookers 7
Career: 1999-present
Before she bought those absurdly overstuffed knockers, this Irish/English/Thai beauty was as ravishing as porn stars get. Despite these hardships, we shall overcome.


Sample Movie: Rape! Super High-Class Public Whore Maria Ozawa
Career: 2005-present
Everything about this French-Canadian/Japanese beauty seems kinda abnormal for a porn star, from her stable childhood to her unhurried entry into the adult biz. But most of all, its her utter flawlessness (finally non-pixelated!) that continues to astound us. Thank heavens she doesn't think she's too pretty for porn.

11 comments:

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